Saturday, September 3, 2011

“YES” but….

             “Yes” I said, as he went down on his knees and asked me to be his wife. He was beaming, I was blushing. We both looked like a pair of infatuated teenagers. In truth, we both had known we are to be married soon. All the necessary Mizo customs have been followed and done. The proposal was just for show, I guess, to satisfy friends’ earnest request, I think we looked ridiculous. J The congratulations from friends were touching, I never thought we deserve so much wishes and pats.
Finally, after a looong, smooth, almost stagnant relationship, I’ll be tying the knot on 6th October this year with my boyfriend of eight years. When we were younger, my friends and I were obsessed with the idea of a perfect wedding. We saw only in black and white, never realizing that there are grey areas in between. Our checklist was limited to mesmerizing gowns, elegant shoes and beautiful church decorations. Now my checklist is longer and more complicated, there are even hammer and nails included. I never thought so many details need to go into weddings. My “mesmerizing gown” which my younger mind had thought comes easy is a drainer. I am shocked by the price tag and the amount of weight I need to lose to fit into my choice. I am sick to the core hunting for that “elegant shoes” which remain unfound at this point. And “beautiful church decorations”? Depends on the amount you can or are willing to spend. The richer you are, the more beautiful it gets. Sad… L
I said “Yes” but can I really do it? My days are spent in thinking “what ifs”?. What if the night before I have a nervous breakdown? What if we don’t have enough money to meet expectations? What if I can't lose weight and fit into my gown? What if his family hates me? What if I my ring doesn’t arrive on time? What if I sprain my ankle before the d-day? What if I cry and smudge my makeup? What if I sneeze in the church? What if my guy farts? What if he runs off with a mysterious mistress? What if he’s secretly gay? What if, all along, he’s been cheating on me?
Even at this moment, so many questions are pounding into my brain it hurts. Sometimes I feel this is just a dream and I would wake to realize everything is still the same. Reality has not really hit me and I, myself, am still waiting for my “yes” to sink in.  

9 comments:

  1. pre-wedding jitters! The proposal was awesome, you didnt look ridiculous at all. And you'll fit into your gown, and we'll find those shoes, and the wedding will all be within budget, and we shall not "ho-ho" during the ceremony, and we expect you to cry (you-know-who will be quite disappointed if you don't), and the ring will arrive (am seeing to it?) and I'm 90% sure he's not gay. now, chill!

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  2. Must be a hard time ka nau... but congrats just imagine 8 years.. and happily ever after :)I wish i can have this life... Its your moment, go go...

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  3. What's a check list without hammer and nails?! :D
    And..HOW EXCITING!!!You'll make a fabulous bride.

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  4. @kuku look at me fonts, prove how disoriented i am rite now...boo hooo...im scraaaarrrreeddd to death....i need my maid of honor...waaahhh!!!

    @sawmtea its a hard time indeed..thanks...happily ever after?i guess we'll just have to wait and see..im crossing my fingers

    @vared Thanks :) Someday when this "fabulous bride" is warming in front of the "sikri" and knitting her grandkids' sweaters, you might be ready too..be sure to ask her for wedding advice...they give you jitters and its scarier than it looks, so, keep the unmarried tag for a while.... for a long, long time...:P

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  5. CONGRATSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!

    And stop getting those jitters, lest you become a runaway bride. :D Its absolutely normal to feel those things (ve khanglang a).

    And stop worrying so much about whether your ring will arrive in time or not. You do know the three rings when it comes to weddings, right? Engagement ring, Wedding ring and Suffering :D

    Just kidding :D You're gonna make one awesome monu, and you don't need somebody like me who doesn't even know you personally to tell you this. Its a fact.

    Regarding your fonts, I peeked into your source code and it was just what I feared - I saw div MsoNormal commands. That means you pasted this particular blog entry from an MS Word doc directly into the new blogger interface editor. Check out my latest blog post on how to solve this formatting problem. Before, it was fine, but this recently launched blogger interface will distort your fonts and formatting if you use a word doc, so I have written a simple instruction on how to tackle this. Consider this my wedding gift, lolzzz :)

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  6. @mizohican thanks a zillion...i dont know you personally too but you have been like a shadow that tags along whether you want it or not :P kidding..ure actually one great guy, a person you can click with from the very first instant...thanks for the help, i did use msword, ill be sure to checkout your latest post :)

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  7. i`l read again after i find my JFD

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  8. Congrats... don't worry, everything will turn out alright!

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  9. congrats james :) so happy for you...but the "what if he farts" part killed me hahahaha :D

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