Monday, June 27, 2011

Hello, you are fat!!


            The much hyped twiggy figure has turned me into a flabby sinner. I can’t chisel myself into this desired figure of the day, so, I’m in violation. As a faithful follower, I buy Marie Claire every month and each time, I put myself on their scale and see myself wanting. They do promote plus-sizes but the fashion-shopping spreads are proofs that skinny women are preferable. They use only skinny models.
            Our own society doesn’t help either. We tend to scrutinize each other's bodies as a form of greeting. Every time I meet someone I know, either from the past or the present, I get commented upon in my face. The usual remark that I have so lovingly claimed my copyrighted possession is “Hi, oh…you’ve become so FAT”. While some people stop there, others extend to “You should NOT gain more weight”, “Shed some weight”. If only I could. Heaven knows I would do anything to make these banters stop. Questions like “Why have you become so fat?”, “Do you want to look like a mother while you are single?” are so tough to answer. If only I can make my body shrink with my mind, I would never have to struggle so hard to be thin.
    My body, as of today, hovers somewhere between the normal and overweight margins in the BMI range. Ever since I heard the first snide remark passed on my bloated form, I have been struggling to lose weight but to no avail. From diet pills and supplements, healthy food to rigorous exercises, I have tried them all. I have shed only a single kilo from my highest count on the scale. What do I do? For the past month, I have started drinking herbal tea and taking oats instead of rice. I have also been playing badminton regularly. But the crude remarks still come. My weight remains the same. Sometimes I just want to give up and slouch on the couch all day, eating potato chips and flipping channels. I just want to escape this burden society puts onto me. Of course, there are other means to be appreciated but I guess my psyche has been so regularly fed with the ideal of thinness that I can no longer find complete satisfaction in other ways. I try to convince myself several times that I have to embrace myself as I am, but with these pressures, I fail. It kinda sound pathetic and morbid, but by way of justifying myself, I profess these are ramblings unearthed from my deepest core, so, jolly me still turns up on the outside.





8 comments:

  1. Thau over hi chuan engengemaw hrisellohna te hi a rawn keng tel ve a. :(

    Upat lamah tawh phei chuan a effect hi a nasa telh telh. :(

    Mizo zia kan tih tam tak hi hi hnam dang zia pawh na ni ve tho lawm :) . Keini vai ho pawh hi vai thiante kawnglaia kan tawh te hian "Aap bahut thau he" kan in ti fo thin asin.

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  2. Yep, people (including me) can be quite insensitive. Ka thauve deuh laia miin "I van thau" min tih khan ka rilru khan "soilo mahla ka hreve tho" hi ka ti zuah2 zela. Cher duh suh, youre as big boned as I am, and you know how pathetically scrawny and bony i looked. And anyway, youve always been beautiful to me (eh)- kinda larger than life with your colourful clothes and your constant chatter :D I hrisel tawh em kha, no suffocating fits anymore, a tha zawkkk, muah muah

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  3. @mos mahni i inkap zak2 zel a rilru zau tihna, i fakawm. Hrisel kawngah chuan ka la fit ve rih viau, miin "i van thau" an ti reng hi ka ning ber a nimai:)

    @ku u sure can soothe a friend :)ka ning em em chu maw mahni pawh rilru buai ve sa nak laiin, kan duh vang renga thau niawm hrim hian "I va thau ve inti cher rawh" min ti ziah hi ka ning. A sawi satliah mai2 hi chu ka hrethiam tih tak zeta min hrilhtute hi ka ning thin. Duhthusamte chuan/thei ni ila VS Angels-ho dah nil thak khawpa pian nalh leh mawi ka nei ang. Tunah tak chuan thau over em2 chu ka inti lo but tun atanga tan ka lak loh chuan ka future chu hei aia thau, kan gene-ah hian awm bak sia.

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  4. I feel you! I'm pretty ahem..athletic :P I don't look it though. I've always been more physically active than the average person, I go to the gym regularly, I am a pretty healthy eater..I think by my lifestyle I should be bordering more on skinny but alas! And now with a thyroid problem (slow slow slow metabolism) with a hormonal condition for which I am about to be put on the pill, the greatest weight gainer pill..I feel I should start trying to not wince at my reflection because I've all but given up. Bleh! Soo sick of these things, as if life isn't difficult enough as it is.

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  5. A topic mawlh mai khi ka duh latuk. Chuan Vaipa khian Mizo Tawng a va thiam ve a.. :-P chuan chuan.. ka la hmu ve silo che a, a bak chu comment tawhlo mai ang. :-D

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  6. Hello, personally i think their calculation is for them not us. Tin, i la in zovin i hrisel bawk.

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  7. @Alejendro vaipa mizo tawng thiam zut2 deuh hi an funny :D

    @vana chuti mo?thanks

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  8. @jerusha: Sharing each others' stories and pain helps relieve the tension...Im glad there's someone like you who undergo the same stress. Your comment makes me realize im not alone in this. When you look at yourself in the mirror, dont wince but recall that there's another girl who looks like you and feel like you and with that thought, i hope you gain strength!

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